HEMITHYROIDECTOMY SURGERY

I don't even know where to begin...

I want to be very descriptive of how I felt through the whole process of it all and how Nathan felt, but I have been struggling to force myself to think about it all again. The whole thing was just so emotionally overwhelming that I just haven't felt up to writing about it. Now that I've gotten so far behind on posts because other events are continuously adding up, I'm forcing myself to get this done...Over the course of several days that is.

Any surgery big or small is scary, but major surgery on your husband, the one that holds half of your heart, is something else. Even though the chances are minimal, just knowing that there's a possibility of something going wrong during the surgery is emotionally unsettling. I tried so hard to keep those "what if" thoughts out of my mind, but it's impossible to do so.

Nathan and I have been together for half of our lives, have two children together, and have many goals, hopes, and dreams that are waiting to be fulfilled TOGETHER. So, letting those "what if" thoughts infiltrate my already scattered brain is simply NOT acceptable!

Surgery Day:
Nathan had surgery to remove half of his thyroid and a large nodule in his neck, on May 3rd. After a previous biopsy, the doctor concluded that a hemithyroidectomy was no longer an option but a must, and surgery plans were quickly in the works.
We get there and they tell Nathan to sit down so they could just talk to me. I was given this card that explained what each symbol meant that would appear next to Nathan's patient code on these huge, flat panel TV screens in the waiting room. Wow...We knew the surgery center was fairly new, but that was pretty fancy.Nathan had to be at the surgery center at a specific time but ended up waiting an hour in anticipation and fear and worry before he was even called back. He spent most of that time keeping quiet and looking at his phone. He really just wanted to get it all over with.He goes back there and a nurse soon introduces herself to me as my personal contact and go between during our entire time there. That hit me like a brick and was the only time I got really choked up. It took everything I had to pull those tears back in and keep from completely losing it in front of dozens of strangers.

Nathan's code changed to "PRE" as he was getting prepped for anesthesia, but it ended up being almost an hour and a half before they actually got started on the surgery. I think the previous surgery had some issues, but that really bothered me. I didn't like him being back there all alone in a cold room and full of nerves and unnecessary thoughts. I really wish I could have waited in there with him, but he said he actually fell asleep after a while.
I was supposed to get a phone call when the surgery started but someone must have forgotten. All of these other families were getting calls so, that made me a little uneasy. About 30 minutes after Nathan's code changed to the orange sleeping head, a front desk lady finally announced across the room that he was asleep and the surgery was in progress. About time, people!It's different, and not in a good way, being the one sitting in the waiting room that is the main person the hospital staff refers to...The spouse. It's hard when one of your parents or someone close to you goes through major surgery, but for some reason it's on a whole other level when it's your spouse. It's different when you're the one that the nurses and doctors look and speak directly at the majority of the time. The eye contact is almost uncomfortable because it makes your heart beat even faster at the realization of what is actually transpiring.

It seems like the surgery took about an hour and a half or so. Emails, texts, Facebook messages, Cheetos, Peanut M&Ms, a few potty breaks, and chatting with my mother-in-law seemed to make the time go by pretty quickly. The doctor actually called us back there himself to go over everything once the surgery was done. I did get teary eyed while listening to the doctor, but for some reason, just being in there didn't even seem real. Thank goodness I remembered to record the conversation on my phone because I know I failed to absorb at least half of what he was saying.

Nathan's code changed to "PACU", which apparently means recovery, and we had to wait another hour and a half before we could go back and see him. I think that portion of waiting was the most unsettling for me because I kept wondering if something was wrong that was causing us to wait so long to see him.
There weren't very many families left in the waiting room when the door finally opened and the nurse called out, "McCallum Family". Oh my, this is it...

I really didn't know how I would react when I saw Nathan for the first time after surgery, but I think this is almost the exact look that he had when he saw me walk in. He had a little smile at relief of seeing a familiar face while trying to hide the amount of discomfort he was feeling. The reason we had to stay even longer in the waiting room was because Nathan had a rash around his incision, and the nurses were waiting on his doctor to finish another surgery and look at it. They gave him Benadryl but it came and went the rest of the day.

It was hard for me to look directly at the stitches for very long because I just can't stomach that kind of stuff, but I wanted to count how many he had. I counted 14 stitches.

One thing that none of us expected was the drainage tube. The doctor said there was some oozing somewhere so he put it in just as a precaution to prevent a blood clot. Having the nurse explain to me how to empty the bag thing was slightly disturbing. It only had to be in there for one day, but still. We had to wait at least 30 minutes for the doctor to come in, act like the rash was no big deal, expect Nathan to pee on demand, quickly spout off a few more details, and then go about his merry way.

Oh, and the stitches were actually not multiple ones on the surface. The doctor said it was one long stitch that he looped around continually until the incision was closed. But there were also 3 additional layers of stitches inside of his neck to close up everything else that he cut through. Lovely.
Nathan tried hard to be in good spirits for me, but it was obvious that he was in serious pain. He never got annoyed at me taking pictures though.
At least I don't think so. He doesn't remember even if he did. He seemed perfectly coherent the entire time, but he later said he was in and out of it most of the day and the details are fuzzy.

He was definitely annoyed that the nurse put tape around his wedding ring because it made it super sticky. Notice the drainage bag hanging there. Cute, huh?
He wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything after midnight the night before the surgery, but he still didn't want to eat afterwards because his throat hurt so bad from all the stitches and the tube being down his throat during surgery. Even though he fell asleep on the short ride home, he did manage to request a chocolate shake from Maggie Moo's.
We got home, were greeted by the kids and other family members that wanted to see the war wound, he went through a brief moment of emotional distress, and then made his way to the couch. He slept there for a couple of hours despite the noise of the kids playing and going in and out of the house. Poor guy was so worn out.
He woke up in a world of hurt and immediately asked me for a pain pill. He tried his best to eat something because we didn't need him feeling even more nauseated. The hospital put a patch behind his ear (just like you get for sea sickness) just in case. Can you imagine if he threw up with all those stitches in his neck?! Ouch!

After making sure his head was propped up as comfortably as possible, we finally settled into bed. The pain meds pretty much kept him knocked out, but I was on edge the entire night. I popped up at every little sound or move he made to make sure he was okay. I think I said, "You okay?" at least 15 times during the night. It was just like having a sick baby sleeping next to you, and you pop up at the tiniest hint of a vomiting noise or motion because you don't want it to land in your hair...Again.

Such a stressful day, but now it's done.