NATHAN'S LUMP

I've been trying to get myself to write about this for a couple of weeks now, but I really just didn't want to do it. Now that things are really happening, I can't put it off any longer.

Nathan has a lump in his neck. Not a small knot...A huge mass. Five centimeters to be exact.

There's no telling how long he's had it, but he seems to have noticed it a couple of years ago with it being more bothersome and increasing in size this past year. There's no explanation as to why it he got it, he just did, and it's actually fairly common.

It's never a good thing to have trouble breathing...Especially in your sleep.

Every once in a while, if I'm not zonked out, I'll notice that he gets choked up in his sleep. He'll start hacking like he's been punched in the gut and is trying to catch his breath. He doesn't really wake up, he just readjusts himself and passes back out on the pillow.

It'll also bother him just laying on the couch watching TV. He says it feels like that lump falls back and slowly starts cutting off his air supply. Also not so much of a good thing.

When he swallows, it sticks out and kind of looks like there's a golf ball in there. Very strange.

It's not his Adam's apple thingy either. If you're facing him, it's to the right of that. It's not inside the throat or the esophagus, it's in his neck on his thyroid.

Normal looking.

But when swallowing...Not normal looking. The pictures really don't do this lump justice either since it's somewhat difficult to capture it in a photo.

He finally manned up and went straight to see an ear, nose, and throat specialist (thank you to our insurance that doesn't require referrals), and the doctor immediately gave him the run down of the cancer scare, told him all the "what ifs", threw in the probability of major surgery, and immediately set him up for an ultrasound and a biopsy...At the hospital.

Can you say SCARY? He wasn't quite expecting anything all that serious, and he had to try and absorb all that was being thrown at him all by himself because I had to pick up the kids from school during his appointment. Needless to say, he came home with the "oh ****" look on his face (use your imagination of a four letter word...I'm sure pretty much anything will apply).

Nathan has never really even been in the hospital for anything other than when our children were born. And you know he didn't do anything or have anything done then...Cause that was definitely ALL me.

I won't give you the full monty of what might or might not happen because there's no sense in getting all worked up if we don't know anything for sure just yet. After we find out what the biopsy results are, then we'll get all worked up.

I will say that the doctor gave this example: There are 100 people walking down the street. Of those 100 people, 20 of them have a thyroid nodule. Of those 20 people, 10% will have a cancerous nodule. So, the majority of the time, it's benign.

When Brooke was a baby and cried ALL the time her first year, I just knew something was wrong with her. My mom once responded with, "Don't borrow trouble." She was right.

Nothing was ever wrong with her other than being medically diagnosed by a well educated, very experienced, highly paid, professional and very tan doctor as just a "fussy baby". Thanks, buddy! You're welcome for all the co-pays and ridiculous amounts of money my insurance paid you for that highly intellectual, over-my-head answer!

Okay, this post is long and now I'm starting to cringe at remembering those screaming baby days. Sleep would probably be a good idea since the kids will surely wake up early even though they went to bed really late and are off tomorrow for Good Friday.

Nathan has been asleep for awhile now. I think he's mentally exhausted but doesn't want to show it. I'll post about the biopsy results as soon as possible. I can only think about it so much in one day...And I'm not even the one having to physically go through it.

I love my husband so very much!